Do You Live to Work or Work to Live?
This is a subject that has come up quite a bit lately and, interestingly, it’s because of dating. One of the first questions I ask is, “Do you live to work or work to live?” This usually stops my date for a tick. Then their head nods to one side while they look at me, just the teensiest bit perplexed. Then they open their mouth to answer and then close their mouth back up.
“Huh. Never thought of that. What a good question.” <—That’s what I get next. My thought is, ‘I know, right??’ Because, you know, it IS a good question…you know?
I work to live. This is a new phenomenon to me and if I’m being perfectly honest, I don’t see it lasting forever (dammit), but hell’s bells I’m going to enjoy the ever-loving snot out of it until it goes away. I can say this; being able to have a spot of time where one can work to live rather than live to work has certainly taught me so many life lessons I don’t even know where to begin, but I’ll give it a try for you.
Realizing what’s important. Of course, we all want nice things, but I realized that having the gift of time far outweighed a Mercedes (or whatever fancy shmancy car is on the hot list these days). Therefore, I drive a 2013, paid-off Prius that gets 46 miles to the gallon and has 136,000 miles on it so far and I plan to drive it until it dies (please don’t die, please don’t die, please don’t die). I live in a tiny little apartment in Dormont. It’s such an old building that the bedroom doors don’t close because there are that many layers of paint on them. Remember those?? Yep, that’s my place and I ADORE it. It takes me a little over an hour to deep clean the whole place and that is a gift in and of itself. It’s also crazy cheap to maintain and because I rent, when something breaks, I dial a phone number, and magically someone with an ass crack hanging out of their pants shows up to fix it. It’s like MAGIC (the fixing, not the ass crack). I also don’t shop much but I’m not sure I can claim that as something I’m giving up as I don’t enjoy it all too much. The one thing I do allow myself is eating out. I LOVE TO EAT OUT. So, I do give myself a budget for that. All of this means I can do a lot of the one thing I love to do most: whatever the hell I want. BOOYA!
It gives me time to reflect on where I want to go. When I was chasing my ass around in circles trying to make more and more and more and more (you get the point) money, I never sat down to figure out if I actually enjoyed what I was doing…or my life, or how I was spending my time, and what I really wanted to spend my time doing. When money is the absolute end goal of everything, that means desire, wants, joy, and contentment tend to take a seat on the sidelines. Now I have time to consider what new kinds of mischief and trouble I want to get into and I can tell you, without a doubt, all kinds. I’ve decided I’m an equal opportunity troublemaker. Sound fun? It should. Join me and we can all get matching jackets. Muahahahahahaha!
I spend time on all the things. Yeah, like meditating, journaling, writing, reading, sitting on my porch and watching the birds, going for long walks in the woods, helping people heal with reiki and untying the knots of their lives, thinking, pondering, and my favorite new thing I don’t know that I’ll ever be able to give up: talking to myself. I had no idea that I was so interesting! Turns out I’m my own best company. Even though I’m quite entertaining, I also talk to friends, I make new friends, I hang out with friends, and then I get to hang out with my friends’ friends. It’s like a big kumba-fucking-ya pow-wow, ya’ll! And you know what? Sometimes I do nothing. That’s right, nothing. I have never felt so fulfilled being such a lazy ass in all my life…and I don’t even feel guilty! My point is, I never ever got a chance to just even sit and think about anything when chasing said ass around in circles. My only time to think was in the car and my thoughts were usually stuck like glue on how to make more money. <—That was no fun. I was no fun. Life was no fun. Now, I have fun.
It allows a state of gratitude unlike I’ve ever known. This is the best one. I look back and still cannot for the life of me believe how ungrateful I was for all that I had accomplished and all that I had in my life. I was and still am so absurdly blessed, and I wake up each day with a prayer of thanks for all that I have in my life (except the IRS). You may think I’m talking about the stuff I have, but you’d be wrong. I barely have any stuff anymore and it’s GREAT. I’m talking about all of the love I have in my life. All of the friendships I have in my life. All of the joy I have in my life. All of the beauty I have in my life. All of the time I have in my life. And, by goddess, all of the laughter I have in my life. I am one lucky woman to the Nth degree…
Listen, I certainly understand how extraordinary it is for me to be here, right now, in this space, and I certainly understand that we can’t all have that all of the time. But what if you took one hour and wrote down what you do with all of your time? And then you rated how much you liked doing those things? And then you separated what you had to do on that list from what you FEEL like you have to do on that list? And then what if you crossed off even one of those things? And what if that gave you an extra 20 minutes in a day to ponder about things like books, birds, walks…or ass cracks for that matter (I don’t judge)? I know, I know…your life is busy. You have shhtuff to do (yes that is a word. I just made it up. It’s a word), and if you don’t do “it” then it just won’t get done. It may not incite ecstasy but hey, those damn reports/sales/emails/billable hours/phone calls have to be taken care of by someone and if you don’t do it, the earth will open up and swallow the whole damn company, right? Just one question: how’s that working out for you??
So, what do you think my next question is going to be??
