Permission

Do you know that I have read SO MANY blog posts with that title? I’ve even written one myself. Permission. And it’s exactly what you think it is: the writer giving the reader the permission they need to take care of themselves, celebrate themselves and do something to center on themselves, typically in the form of a session. Nothing wrong with that.

However, through lots of interactions, it started to become apparent to me that something needed to be said on the other side of permission…let’s dig a bit deeper.

I like to sit back and take it all in when I spend time with women. I like to be quiet, and really listen to what they are telling me. The thing is, what they are telling me is rarely what they are saying. What they telling me is typically in the small spaces between the words and even the underlying meaning of their statements that they don’t even realize they’re saying. I can pick up on their power, their hangups or what they are really focused on that they didn’t even realize. But my favorite is the epiphanies.

Typically they don't even know they’re having one until the last word drips out of their mouth or I back them up to hear what they are actually saying. Lately, it’s been a lot of conversations around how people treat them and their reactions to such treatment. This could be good treatment, fair treatment, disrespectful treatment and even unkind or rude treatment. What has been so interesting in all of this is that there seems to be a consistent undertone with a lot of these conversations. That undertone kinda sounds like this:

I no longer give you permission…

Then that sentiment is finished however the woman I’m listening to sees fit. The number one sentiment I keep picking up on that is being conveyed is that I no longer give you permission to treat me in a way that belittles my existence, my needs, my desires, my hopes, my dreams, my deeds, my very nature and my Self.

This is super exciting to me because it supports my continuing belief that women are at a beautiful time of self-awareness, worthiness and not only understanding our worth as women, but demanding that that worth be recognized. I kinda feel like this has been a resounding side effect of the #metoo movement. Yes, it was in the works way before that, but once we women found our strength in numbers to be able to call out our unfortunate similarities that had drenched our lives in experiences we’d rather forget, we began to also reevaluate our permissions.

Homework: what are your permissions?