The Exclusivity of Body Positivity

I recently posted some photos (not the ones currently posted) along with words that basically said something along the lines of It’s Not Just You. We All Have a Hard Time Loving Ourselves. We’re in This Together. And so on…

The photos I posted were of a lovely woman that clearly worked very hard on her body. This struck a chord with some women and it lead to a conversation I was so grateful to have because any opportunity I can get to talk about women’s bodies in a positive, uplifting, real, raw, and open way, you know I am so in.

The photos made some feel uncomfortable because they felt the “model” in the photographs was too “perfect” to be the representative of my words.

So let’s break this down a bit, shall we? I’m not even going to talk about those 2 words I have in quotes above because if you know me, you know they don’t even need to be addressed.

I have been privy to more conversations about women’s bodies than I can remember and I can tell you that I have witnessed body shaming on every end of the spectrum. I have heard women shame another woman because she was perceived as being too thin and I have heard women shame another woman because she was perceived as being too heavy. I have heard women shame another woman because she was perceived as being too fit, and I have heard women shame another woman because she was perceived as someone that needed to be more fit. And I won’t even get into the breakdown of body parts (noses, boobs, butts, chins…etc).

KNOW THIS: ALL of these scenarios are a direct result of the insecurities of the women doing the shaming. You are either shaming a woman because you are envious of her body, or you are shaming a woman because you are scared you will take on a physical characteristic that they currently embody that you perceive as distasteful.

Either way, your shaming is directly related to FEAR and anytime any emotional decision is made based on fear it’s not going to turn out well for you…unless it’s to save your life…then, you know, yeah…fear is a good thing.

I have never had any woman in all my 16 years as a photographer enter my studio so in love with themselves that they told me how lucky I was to be photographing them. I know…you’re so unsurprised, right? That’s because we all know, regardless of weight, level of fitness, or size, we are all walking around wishing our body was different in one way or another (which is silly, I know, but that’s another post for another time). Not that it matters, and not that this next bit of info is asking for your acceptance and approval of this woman’s right to do as she damn pleases with her body, but the woman in the photos from this post was having a really hard time accepting herself so she took the last year and devoted herself to her own fitness in an effort to change her perspective. Her photoshoot was her gift to herself for that effort. See? WE ALL STRUGGLE. Nope—it’s not just you and you don’t get to call dibs on who gets to struggle with or celebrate their own bodies.

I am aware of the fact that women that have what is considered the "ideal" body type have had the limelight for a very (very very very) long time and we are just at the tip of not only accepting but also celebrating different body types, but the challenge here to remain inclusive to EVERY body type. Because....

Ladies: we do not need to approve or disapprove of every other woman’s body to love our own.

Let me say this again for the folks in the back…

WE DO NOT NEED TO APPROVE OR DISAPPROVE OF EVERY OTHER WOMAN’S BODY TO LOVE OUR OWN.

Body love isn’t like oxygen, water, or money. It’s not a resource that if you have some or even a lot, it takes away from my stash. It is not a limited commodity. It is vast, omnipresent, and unlimited.

And guess what? It belongs to us ALL. No matter your size, your weight, or your body type, body positivity belongs to ALL women.

I know women are still in the throws of pulling each tiny little pubic hair of a thread on this giant ball of yarn of figuring out how to stake our claim in this world, but the more we stick together, the more we, as a collective, remember to uplift, support, root on, and love our female neighbors, the further we will get in our right to simply exist (outside the norms that we didn’t create and are 100% unattainable).

My unsolicited advice to every woman out there is to start loving yourself now. It’s the one true love that not only means the most, but it’s the foundation upon which every other external love builds upon in your life. So make it damn strong.