Why I'm Drawn to Suffering

I’m trying to find something to watch and those little trailers that stream whether you want them to or not are flying by. I half watch as a couple suffers a terrible loss, and he blames her and takes his broken soul and leaves. She doesn’t try to stop him. He goes to find his soul again and…blah blah blah. I yawn and almost move on until I see them almost die together. In that moment, they look into each other’s eyes and you can watch as their whole story of pain and fear instantly transforms into understanding, deep love, and acceptance in that split-second-look, and without one word. I immediately click ‘play’. 

Suffering hurts. It’s painful, awful, and sad. It wreaks havoc on your life and rips you from a state of safety and plunges you into a state of unknown hell. It’s unpredictable, scary as fuck, and usually ends in a great loss of some sort, whether that be a person/relationship, an entire way of life, or your entire being as you once knew it. 

So why am I writing a post about being drawn to it?

If you want to me see me squirm uncontrollably, followed up by scratching my eyes out then try to have a small-talk conversation with me. If you really want to see me light up like a sale sign for designer shoes, talk to me about your suffering. Let me be clear: I have no time for your complaining. If you’re going to bitch to me for the 50th time about how your husband just doesn’t get you, I am not your girl. However, if you want to tell me how much time you wasted bitching about your husband, only to have a grand epiphany that led you to understanding why you felt so unfulfilled, which then blew your mind upon learning that it wasn’t your husband after all, to then come full circle when you realized it was actually you all along, and how that discovery led you down a path of exploration and revelation that changed absolutely everything you thought you knew…now we’re talking.

See the difference there? One is running in place, the other is evolving. Guess what you can’t skip to evolve? You got it: suffering.

Maybe I’m not drawn to “suffering” so much as I am to what suffering transforms into. One of my favorite past times is pulling the threads of people’s deepest conundrums and seeing what falls out. Why? Because nothing excites me more than seeing what’s on the other side of that unraveled ball of yarn you call your life. 

I know. It sounds kind of awful, right? But you’re the one that sunk into a post about a person being drawn to suffering. My point is, maybe I’m on to something. Maybe you found yourself interested in this post because you’re suffering right now and you don’t know what to do with it. Well, you’re in luck. I’m also drawn to giving unsolicited advice.

  1. You will never be given loose threads that aren’t meant to be pulled. So get pulling. There’s something waiting for you.

  2. You are exactly where you’re supposed to be, going through the exact thing you’re supposed to be going through right in this moment. Therefore, you 100% have what it takes to do the work and get to the other side of it all. Believe in yourself.

  3. Pull up your sleeves and do the work. Otherwise, you’re that person running in place and when you run in place all you do is perpetuate your state of suffering. Who the hell wants to do that??

So, yeah, the path of suffering will usually lead to some deeply disturbing and certainly very uncomfortable places. However, whether you like it or not, you will visit this space in your lifetime and typically more than once, so quit running in place. 

But I promise if you look into its eyes, you can watch as it transforms from pain and fear into understanding, deep love, and acceptance.

Now we’re talking…

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