You Have a Right to Ask

I think one of the number one things women, especially, feel hesitant (to say the least) to ask for is what they need. No, I’m not talking about shoes, tampons, or getting their roots dyed…

Most of us ladies have been trained from a very young age to always put everyone else first, whether our mothers intended so or not. Usually it was in the form of watching our mothers and our grandmothers do that very thing. No matter what we were told, what we saw in action was what we really absorbed.

The more you “sacrificed”, the better and more respected the matriarch. How silly.

That’s how I grew up and it took me wayyyyyyyyyy too long to even realize this one truth:

I have a right to not only ask for what I need, but to expect it.

Here is one more thing to blow your mind: I ask out of respect, but the truth is I don’t need anyone’s permission to do what is best for me.

If you have a partner, like me, that truly wants what is best for you and believes you actually know what is best for you, then they will gladly do whatever is within their power to give you space for that. If you just thought to yourself, ‘Hmpf…no way he/she would ever believe me or give me what I need…’ then, girl…you have some thinking to do.

More than anything I truly believe this: most women don’t give their partners the benefit of the doubt and are delightfully surprised that their partner desperately wants them to do whatever they want to do to fulfill their needs and they would answer with a resounding YES, if only they’d have the conversation.

Here is something I bet you never knew about your partner: they aren’t psychic. Even better: they aren’t you. So how would they know what is best for you??

As you can imagine, I have talked with a lot of women. The question, ‘Have you ever asked?’ has rolled off of my tongue more than you could ever believe. I hear allllllll day long from women this thing and that thing that is not fulfilled and how their partner is to blame. Verrrrrrry interesting when I ask that question and they have a look of shock and typically instantly blurt out, ‘I never thought of that’. Well…imagine that.

How’s that working out for ya?