She Was Right There All Along

Why is it that we go through our entire life waiting to be the person we think we’re going to be “someday” so that we can achieve contentment? As I sat reflecting on this last year of my life, a rather large epiphany began to set in for me…

I have always been the same gal from the very start. 

Sure, some things have changed a bit. I’m a bit more patient now, less hot-headed, more generous, and less selfish. But the real me, the me on the inside…that gal has never changed. I mean, I grew up is all.

I think we waste more time than not waiting to become the person we believe we are eventually going to grow into. You know her…she’s smarter, thinner, has more money, the right house, the right partner, and vacations in the right places. The thing is, what are we doing with our lives in the meantime?

You got it: waiting.

Here we are, waiting our lives away only to realize the woman we kept waiting to become was there all along.

I realized all the rules are bullshit and started doing all the things we all do to unlearn all the bullshit.

I returned back to the very person I was all along, only now I’m so much older (and yes, happier), but still, it was such a shame to realize how much time I wasted looking for “her”.

I’m 46 and just really started living for me, as me, as I am right now about 2 years ago. I also realized that most of what I was waiting for were all things for other people to think I’m great, acceptable, and worthy. If I lived on this planet alone I wouldn’t give one whit about having a big house, a round butt, a large bank account, or the “right” this or that. 

While I was waiting my life away trying to become someone, own some things, and live some way to impress other people that definitely did not matter, I missed out on a whole lot of life. At least that’s all I can assume, since I wasn’t there to live that life to its fullest.

Sheezus that is just sad as shit.

So how about this: we all start living as if we are already the person we want to be. What if you didn’t put off that vacation (or photoshoot ;-)) till you lose 10 pounds? What if you took all the money you’re saving for that big house you’d just get lost in anyway and put it towards something you can enjoy RIGHT NOW (or use to retire early)?

What if you could become instantly grateful for every little thing in your life right now? Like, you know, being alive? I mean, the alternative is wayyyyy worse, am I right??