You're Worth the Effort

She was really quiet during her session. At first, I thought she was just super shy…I mean, I’m sure you wouldn’t be surprised to hear that a client coming in for a session was just a little nervous.

But this was different.

There was a sadness to her movements and her eye contact. Of course, the human in me thought it was me. So I had to ask as she was gathering her belongings at the end of our session together:

Was this photoshoot what you wanted? Did you have a good time? Do you think I captured what you were looking for?

She was very complimentary and reassuring that what I gave was what she wanted, but I just felt like something was off and so I just kept asking the same question in a different way. 

Then, she began to tear up and I knew I struck gold (though to her I’m sure it didn’t feel like gold…)

“I’m not sure what has been going on with me this last year. I’m tired all of the time, my interest in things has dropped…I just feel so sad, but then I feel so guilty because I have nothing that I have the right to feel sad about. I just don’t understand what’s going on with me…”

And there it was. Life. Life happening. Life happening all around us, through us, and inside of us. Ladies—we’ve all been right here at some point. Am I right or am I right??

We talked about what she was feeling and her confusion. We talked about the “why” and the “how”. I wanted her to understand:

Number 1: We all go through this and she was not alone. Lee Ann (my partner-in-crime from AtHome Beauty) pointed out that she is at an age where hormones were likely changing and even environmental factors were contributing to a shift inside of her body, mind, and soul. This is 100% normal, but should not be overlooked.

Number 2: She has an absolute right to her own feelings and her own experiences, she owes no one an apology or explanation. She holds zero responsibility to hold feelings of guilt. Her feelings are her feelings are her feelings are her feelings.

Number 3: The most important thing I wanted her to take in: she is worth the effort to put into herself to grow and heal. Not only is she worth the time and effort, but she is also in a place where she owes it to herself to strap in and dig deep for answers. Girl, hear me: you’re worth it. She knew it. I saw the lightbulb switch on. 

Sometimes, I think we forget that we are the masters of our own personal universe. If something feels wrong, then something is probably wrong. Women have this weird response to our own pain: brush it off, push it down, ignore it, and generally dismiss it as weakness, unimportant, and holding less value than someone else’s painful experience.

As she began to dismiss her own feelings, I asked her (and I’m paraphrasing here): “If your best friend in the whole world came to you and said they’ve been feeling off, sad, unmotivated and confused for the last year of their lives, would you tell her she’s just being a baby? What advice would you give to your best friend in this same exact situation? Why is her pain more real and deserving of more respect than your own?”

There went that lightbulb again…

The thing is, no one knows you like you do. No one knows your moods, your slight shifts, your innards, your guts, and the bones inside the bones that make you who you are. Fun fact: no one is ever ever ever going to be able to take care of you better than you.

Another fun fact, just in case no one ever told you: you’re worth the effort. 

Not only are you worth it, you hold a responsibility to it and are accountable for taking the time to invest in it. 

I promise you: taking the time to put in the effort to care for yourself so that you can begin, or even go back to, leading the life you deserve is worth every growing pain you’ll feel.

Don’t believe the lies we’ve all been raised with. You are not supposed to put yourself last. Your experiences do not hold less value than anyone else’s. Your pain is not in your imagination. You are not weak, crazy, or being dramatic.

You are real. Your feelings are real. Your feelings deserve your full attention, and even more than that they deserve your fight.

You’re worth the fight. You’re worth the time. You’re worth the effort.

#repeat